Nopalito

306 Broderick St.

San Francisco, CA

(415) 437-0303

http://nopalitosf.com/

Such a disappointment. I really wanted to love this place. Really, I did.

My husband and I had been looking forward to Nopalito opening for months. We live in the neighborhood and love the idea of "local, organic, and sustainable ingredients." It took us awhile to actually try the place because we have a baby, but we talked about wanting to go there so much that a friend bought us a gift certificate. We decided to do takeout.

The prices are fine for the amount that you get ,especially if the ingredients are organic. No problem there. The problem is that the food is just not that good.

Here's what we tried:

Tamal $4.00

Gordita de Picadillo $4.50

Carne Asada $14.00

The tamal looked beautiful and the first couple of bites where tasty, but then it was just too much- over-seasoned and too much crema. The Gordita de Picadillo was a waste a tummy space. It was nothing special and the only thing I can remember about it is the salsa, which overpowered the blahness of the other ingredients. The biggest disappointment was the Carne Asada. To be fair I believe this was a brand new menu item and hopefully it will get better. The flavor was fine, but it was by far the toughest piece of meat I have ever eaten. My husband couldn't even finish his. The Carne Asada came with black beans that were ok, but not great and the home made tortillas were completely underwhelming.

I'm glad that we were given a gift certificate because I would have been upset to spend my own money on the items we bought. We had a relatively large meal and got very little pleasure out of it. All I can say is that it wasn't terrible and we were full.

Photo Credit:

http://www.bunrab.com/dailyfeed/2009April/dailyfeed_april-09_p2.html#041309

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Audition

Went to my second audition since giving birth, today. I almost turned it down because I feel self-conscious about the weight gain, but who am I to deny myself opportunities?

I'm so glad I went. I love acting and everything associated with it. Lots of actors are very particular and prefer theater over on-camera, or prefer "real" acting over commercial, not me. I love all of it. Even auditioning can be fun.

Don't get me wrong, I'll get nervous and second guess myself, but once I'm done, I feel great. It's a hard thing to stand in front of people and give it your all, but it's also courageous and wonderful.

Once I got paid to play the dual role of Lavatory Lady/Commissioner Cleanser. Who gets paid good money to dress up like a superhero? Me...sometimes.

Years ago, a talent agent told me she does not ask actors why they act because it would be like asking a drug addict why they do drugs. It's true, you just can't help yourself.

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Yuck!

Today, I met a Mommy friend in the Duboce Park area and we decided to go to Duboce Park Cafe (http://www.doloresparkcafe.org/). I've been to this cafe many times with mixed results, but they make a turkey, bacon, avocado sandwich that I always enjoy so I decided to treat myself. Oh, boy!

I ordered the sandwich with no mayo or mustard and went outside to chat with my friend. After a few minutes, I went back inside and sat at the counter where you can watch the staff make the food. I've always enjoyed places that have open kitchens because you can see how your food is being prepared. Anyway, I saw a young man making what appeared to be my sandwich and I could tell that there was mayo on it. Oh well, I thought, I'll eat it anyway, but then I guess he looked at the ticket and realized the mistake. He then proceeded to wipe off the mayo with the dishrag he uses to wipe up the counter top and continued to make the sandwich!!! My whole body leaned over the counter top, but I couldn't get any words out. Two of his coworkers saw me and looked over to see what I needed. I said, "Si me va a dar el pan que limpio con el trapo, no lo quiero." (If he's going to give me the bread he cleaned with the rag, I don't want it.) One of the coworkers walked away and the other one apologized and said they'd make me a new one. I actually sat there for a minute and wondered if I overreacted. If he would have scraped the mayo off with a knife it would have been fine, but a rag. Come on!

I guess I won't be going there anymore.

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Lovin' Hug, Mami's Little Helper

Today, I took apart my baby's Lovin' Hug Swing by Graco. You can use the swing up until 30 lbs and Put Pie has at least 9lbs to go, but she's made it loud and clear that she no longer enjoys the ride. No big deal, I went and bought a big plastic tub to put the swing in and store. It was easier to take apart than it was to put together. Except that I started getting all teary when I was putting the swing in the coffin-like box. This swing has been so good to me. Really, I had to take a moment and thank the swing for holding my baby and soothing her and helping her sleep.

When I got the swing, I was at my wits' end. My baby was tiny and I could not put her down without her crying. She is my first child and letting her cry just wasn't an option. Daddy had a very bad cold and couldn't help out. I was taking care of him and her, going crazy and shaking from exhaustion. Someone suggested I get the swing and I immediately got in the car with Put Pie and went to buy it. I didn't care how much it cost and usually I'm pretty frugal.

When I got home, Put Pie took one of her very short power naps and I put the swing together as quickly as I could. She woke up and I put her in it. She only stayed in it for about 20 minutes that day, but I thought the swing was worth every penny. That was 20 minutes I wouldn't have had otherwise. Later she spent hours in it playing and sleeping.

Today, as I put the swing away, I just felt grateful that someone made something that helped me through those challenging early moments of motherhood. I know it's just a swing, but I don't know what I would have done without it.

Thank you Lovin' Hug for being Mami's little helper.

http://www.gracobaby.com/Pages/Home.aspx#/home/

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...and then there's Maude!

Maude TV Opening Theme

I had a totally different post planned for today, but then I learned that Bea Arthur passed away and I just had to acknowledge the joy she has brought me.

Many people love Bea for her role on The Golden Girls, but for me it's all about Maude. I loved watching Maude as a child and I didn't even understand why.

I grew up bombarded by stereotypes and feeling trapped because I was born female. I never wanted to learn to cook or type because I was afraid that was all I would ever end up doing. My Nana and Mother would tell over and over what "girls" should be like and it would make my skin crawl. I was outspoken, loud, intelligent and I was made to feel like I should be less of those things. The future that I was supposed to want just seemed like some sort of a prison. I would watch telenovelas with my Nana and just hate them and their hysterical women all defined by their relationships to others. The women were always someone's mother or girlfriend or jilted lover.

And then there's Maude! She was loud, brassy, confident and I loved her!!! My God, a show that had a strong female lead. The show was named for her character. She wasn't anybody's anything, she was Maude and she made her own decisions. But it wasn't just Maude, it was Bea too. My God, she was a tall woman with a deep voice who was not what people would call pretty and she got her own show at 50 years old!

Thank you, Bea. Thank you for all the laughs and inspiration.Thank you for letting a little girl know that some women make their own rules. R.I.P.

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Baby Weight?

My Mother is coming to visit for Mother's Day and I should be thrilled, especially since it was my idea and I bought her the ticket, but truly I'm terrified. Why? Because I'm fat. It's true. For the first time in my life I am officially overweight. I've been heavier than I would like to be before, but I was always in the realm of what is considered a healthy weight for my height. Not anymore, according to my BMI, I am overweight. http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/ I know it's a crude tool that doesn't take age and muscle into consideration, but it's not like I'm even on the "light" side of overweight. I'm smack in the middle.

I could say it's baby weight, but it's not. After the baby was born, I lost 20lbs within 3 weeks. That weight is no longer lost; it's found it's way back. Fine, I can exercise and eat better, but I can't lose all this weight before Mother's Day.

I just can't stand the thought of my mother commenting on my weight. When I was pregnant she said she hoped I didn't end up "gorda*" afterwards. My mother has had a lifelong preoccupation with weight. I've had more conversations with her about her weight than anything else. I hate it. I find it dull and uninspiring. There have been times when we're having what I consider to be a "real" conversation and she blurts out, " Me veo gorda?**"

Finally, I told her that I did not want to talk about her weight, that I thought it was boring, that she spends too much time obsessing about it and that it makes her too critical of others. She's been better about it, but that doesn't mean that my weight is off limits. When she saw me during pregnancy she said, "Gracias a Dios que el embarazo no te dejo deforme.***" My pregnancy was difficult, the last thing I needed to worry about was my weight gain.

Yes, I want to lose this weight, but I want to lose it for me, not because my mother is coming. I'm feeling so much pressure and I can't believe that the thought of hearing her call me fat makes me burst into tears. Seriously, I turn into a sobbing child; her sobbing child. Why is my body not off limits?

I do not want to burden my daughter with this legacy. I want her to feel beautiful, healthy and proud of what her body can accomplish. I never want her to feel ashamed and I never want her to feel judged (especially not by me). I don't want her to dread seeing me because she's afraid I'll call her fat.

My body is amazing, it's strong and durable, it provided a safe home for my gorgeous child, and it brings me joy and pleasure. I guess that's what I'll say to my mother when she tells me I'm fat.


*fat
**Do I look fat?
***Thank God the pregnancy hasn't left you deformed.

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Baby Shaking app! WTF!?

Apple pulled an app for iPhone that lets you stop a baby's crying by shaking the baby to death! Honestly, how did this app get past "go"? I don't get it. Maybe, I'm upset about it because I'm the parent of a baby, but I think I would feel the same way even if I weren't.

Apple has since apologized and said it was a "mistake". More like a major F*** UP!

See following link for more info.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/techchron/detail?entry_id=38957&tsp=1

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Socializing IS a Priority

Today was a beautiful, sunny San Francisco day. The kind of day that makes you feel blessed to live in such a marvelous city.

The plan for the day was to meet up with two Mommies and their lovely babies. This Mami decided to jog to the designated meeting place in order to get some exercise.

We met up at Morning Due Cafe.

http://www.menuism.com/restaurants/d8pDlQjQur24upabBlKsEs-morning-due-cafe-san-francisco-ca

I had this great shrimp and avocado salad that I've been indulging in quite a bit lately and caught up with one of the Mommies. The other Mommy stopped by later and suggested we go to Bi-Rite Creamery. http://biritecreamery.com/ If you've never gone to Bi-Rite Creamery and you live in San Francisco, what are you waiting for!? We took our ice cream cones and little ones to Dolores Park and enjoyed the sunshine and beautiful view.

Sounds like a great day, right? It was except that I did what I always do and didn't really engage in the experience. Instead of being present and enjoying my friends and our shared moments, my mind kept wandering and I kept thinking of how I should hurry up and go because my kitchen table has a pile of junk on it that renders it useless for it's intended purpose. I wasn't really "there" because my mind kept taking me elsewhere.

Part of the problem is that I don't seem to think of socializing as a priority. It's not that I feel guilty about doing it, it's just that it doesn't seem as important as all the mundane chores that occupy my life, but I'm wrong. Socializing is a priority and far more rewarding than any of the trivial things I get myself worked up about. My friends are a blessing and I promise to enjoy them more and be grateful to be in their presence.

Who cares about my cluttered kitchen table? It won't cry with me when I'm sad and it doesn't send me Christmas cards or call me on my birthday.

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."-John Lennon

Photo Credit: Jeremy "Big Papa" S

http://www.yelp.com/user_details?userid=nkN_do3fJ9xekchVC-v68A

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Working Outside the Home

I work outside the home one day a week. It's not much and that's just how I like it. Keep in mind I also work from home (different job) about 10 -20 hours a week. For awhile, I was working outside the home 2 days a week, the days my husband has off, but it sucked because we never had any time to be together as a family. That's when Family Sundays began.

Today, I get to work at a beautiful museum and be surrounded by art. I enjoy being away from home because it makes coming home so sweet. It's also the only day of the week that I don't feel "on" 24 hours. So even though I'm at work, I feel like I have the day "off".

In the beginning, before I went back to my job outside the home, it was so hard to explain to my husband what it feels like to be the primary child care giver. I wanted him to understand that there is no downtime. Yeah, yeah, I know they say nap when the baby naps and it sounds great to stay home, but it's not restful at all. And no, it's not a competition, but there is just no way he was more tired.

To begin with, if you gave birth, you've just gone through one of the most demanding physical experiences ever. Childbirth is often equated with running a marathon, except I don't know anyone who runs a marathon with their vagina, so I would venture to say it's worse-much worse. Usually, after such a harrowing experience you would be rewarded with rest and lots of it. No such luck when you are a mother.

I used to wait for my husband to come home, so I could have a break. He would get frustrated because he wanted time to settle in and get food. In retrospect, I guess I was a bit harsh because I would say no and when he asked how he was supposed to eat and take care of the baby, I would say, "Figure it out! I had to." It sounds terrible, but he doesn't get home until 9:00 pm and I was so exhausted that I had precious few moments to do things like bathe or change my clothes before collapsing. Fortunately, things get better after three months.

We would argue because my husband would say that when he was out of the house he was working, not enjoying himself. My response was that during his day he would have at least 10 minutes when he wasn't thinking of his daughter or what she needed, if he wanted to take a nap at lunch by himself -he could, if he had to go to the bathroom-no one would start crying. I don't think he really understood until he had to take care of Put Pie when I went to work.

Put Pie is now 7 months old and taking care of her has gotten to be much easier and very rewarding because she smiles and is just thrilled by our company, but I still treasure the one day a week that I get to be just "me" for 8 hours.

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Cruisin' for Mommies

I've never been one to make friends quickly. I'm not one of those people who strikes up conversations with strangers. If anything, I avoid any such contact. I've always been fine spending time alone and I don't mind being social, but I prefer to be a bit of a hermit.

Until...Mamihood.

Being a mom can be quite isolating. Yeah, sure it's rewarding and I wouldn't trade it for the world, but it's exhausting and you don't get much feedback on what a good job you're doing. Friends and family members without kids don't really get it and friends and family with grown kids don't quite remember. ( I think as with all trying situations you block out the difficult moments and idealize the good.)

So, what's a Mami to do? You go cruisin' for Mamis/Mommies.. Just about any Mami with a child around the same age as yours will do. People you never would have imagined being friends with before being a parent all of a sudden seem quite desirable because you know you won't have to explain yourself to them. You'll make a baby related joke and they'll get it. If you run out of wipes or diapers they've got your back. If you need advice, they'll give it to you. Best of all they'll let you just vent.

Actually, it's pretty awesome. If I'm feeling starved for adult company all I have to do is get Put Pie all dolled up and take her for a walk to a nearby park or playground. Inevitably, you will pass another parent with a stroller and you'll smile. If you are both into it, you start talking by focusing on the kids.

I think someone should come up with a list of pick up lines for Mommies or Daddies.

Here are a few basic ones:

How old is the little one? (If you are not sure of gender, always err on the side of caution.)

What's the baby's name? (Again, with this one remember that many children have gender non-specific names so don't assume Dylan is a boy or Kimberly is a girl.)

How do you like your (insert name of baby carrier here-i.e. BabyBjorn, Ergo, Moby)?
Follow ups to this include asking about inserts, weight limits, back pain.

I'm trying to come up with some more original ones. I welcome any input.

A word of caution to those of you who may find yourself cruisin' for Mommies: don't settle for just any old Mommy. Remember that if you set up play dates, the dates are just as much for you as they are for the kids. You don't want to get stuck with a Mommy that drains you. Your time is limited. So if you find you are not compatible, just keep on cruisin'.

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Sunday Family Sunday

Domingo es el unico dia de la semana que puedo estar con mi familia entera.

I used to work on Sundays, but no more. If it weren't for Sundays I'd never get to be with my whole family. Sundays are family fun days!

This morning my husband made me apple pancakes. Yum!!! It was a super easy, fast recipe. Here's a link to the recipe: http://www.penzeys.com/cgi-bin/penzeys/recipes/r-penzeysApplePancakes.html

We have to have our family fun in between Put Pie's naps, which doesn't give us much time to be out. It was over 80 degrees in San Francisco today, so we decided to go for a walk in the Panhandle.

I've never been an outdoorsy person. I could be indoors for days and not feel deprived, but it just doesn't seem right to keep Put Pie cooped up. I go out of my way to try and make her laugh and sometimes: nothin', but if I take her for a walk and she sees a tree's leaves rustle in the wind she starts cracking up. At first, I didn't get it, but it is kind of funny how the trees move. I just hadn't noticed.

Kids are great because they make you enjoy things you would normally take for granted. It reminds me of the song "Jack and Diane" by John Mellencamp (or did he still have Cougar in his name at the time). There is a line that goes, "oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone..." I think that's why we have kids. They bring the thrill of living back. We took her to the playground and she had her first solo swing ride (see photo). She loved it. I mean, doesn't she look happy?

The day ended with a superb homemade pesto, potato, tomato pizza made by my husband. How lucky am I? Here's the link he used to make the wonderful pizza crust:

http://video.nytimes.com/video/2009/04/18/magazine/1194839633989/pizza-at-home.html

All in all, it was a great day.

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Sleep Training

The sleep training is working! Today, I got Put Pie to take 2 by the clock naps and when I put her in her crib tonight, she looked at me with those cute little eyes, watched me walk out and didn't cry!!! She's been sleeping for about 3 hours now and I still can't believe how easy it was. Granted, it's just one night, but awesome nonetheless.

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Tired

Another morning and big surprise: I'm tired. I don't remember what it's like not to be tired. Friends who are past the one year mark assure me that one day I will put Put Pie down to sleep at 7:00 and not come back into the room until 7:00 the next morning. I am starting to believe them. The other night, we put her down at 7:00 and she didn't wake up until 6:00. So, why am I bithching? I don't know, maybe because I'm tired.

Right now, what I'm working on is getting her on a regular nap schedule so that it will be easier to put her down at night. For awhile, we would put her down at night and she wouldn't cry before falling asleep. Now, she's back to crying for about 15 minutes before going down. 15 minutes doesn't sound like a very long time until it's your child and every fiber of your being is responding to that cry.

A few weeks back, I met a friend for dinner whom I had not seen in over a decade. I brought Put Pie with me even though we were meeting at 4:00. Put Pie's golden time for bed is around 6:00 pm and if we go much later than that it's a bummer for all involved. Anyway, the friend asked if I found that I had to give up anything since becoming a mother. Ha!!! I said, "Everything!" She looked surprised. Seriously though, nothing is as it was. I used to read, exercise regularly, have a social life, make love, fight (I still find time for bickering). I told her that going out at 4:00 pm with the baby was actually a late night out for me. I think no one has any idea how time consuming it is to take care of a baby until they go through it.

I really had a hard time adjusting to being the mother of an infant until I just started to live in the now. Now is the time I get to enjoy my baby. She's only going to be a baby for a very short time and I don't want to miss any of it. I'm blessed to be able to spend so much time with her. I might as well enjoy it.

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Today is the day!

Today is the day I start my blog. I went to sleep thinking about it. I've been wanting to do this for awhile, but it seems like standing naked in Times Square.

Also, I wasn't sure how I would deal with the issue of honesty. I mean, I keep a journal or I used to before the baby, and I'm pretty honest because it's for no one but me. But if I am writing in a public forum, how honest can I be? I was afraid I would worry too much about my loved and not so loved ones reading it and being upset. Then I had an image of the "Unknown Comic" on " The Gong Show" and I thought, "that's it! I'll be the Unknown Mami!"

Why Mami? Because I became a mother a little over 7 months ago. Mami, instead of Mommy because I was raised by a single Mexican mother and grew up speaking Spanish before English. Now, I'm trying to raise a bilingual child and I'm the only Spanish speaker in the house. Not to mention that my Spanish is turning to mierda!

Other things you should know about me: I live in San Francisco, I'm an actor, I'm shy (but you wouldn't know it), more to come later.

That's all for now...It's time for Put Pie's (my daughter) nap.

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