Unknown Mami: Fragmented Fridays

This week I pulled a total dumb-ass maneuver. I opened an email with an attachment from "DHL", which was not from DHL and ended up with friggin' Trojan Horses on my computer. As soon as I clicked it open I started trying to hit the rewind button, but life does not have a rewind button.

My husband was home at the time and as I was freaking out he said, "You shouldn't have opened that email". Uh, no shit Sherlock or shall I call you Master of the Obvious?! There is nothing like someone pointing out you are a bone-head when you are in the middle of dealing with the consequences of your bone-headedness.

The stupid Trojan Horse disabled my security software. I downloaded Malwarebytes, which is free, and I think my computer is all better. I know none of you are bone-heads so you won't be dealing with this issue, but if you have a bone-head in the family or know one, you can tell them to use Malwarebytes it beats paying Geek Squad $149.

I dreamt I was in a bikini I ~~stole~~ borrowed from Charlotte of N.E.O. Moms . I looked pretty good in this bikini, so much so that a very old woman told me I had a juicy _______ (I can't bring myself to use the actual word. It's not what you think). So here I am in this ~~stolen~~ borrowed bikini and somehow I know James Franco and he's obviously into me. But just when I'm getting used to looking and feeling Hot with a capital H, I look down and notice that I am wearing underwear and a maxi-pad under the bikini. All of a sudden I don't feel so hot. Plus, I went swimming so my maxi-pad is soaked. James Franco didn't seem to mind, but I was glad when I woke up and was regular old me in pajamas.

I'm going back to the eye doctor after spending over a month putting steroid drops into my BIG BEAUTIFUL BROWN EYES to combat iritis. I am hoping that it is all better. Wish me luck. I am so tired of worrying about it and having blurry vision from the steroid drops. I just want my eyes back.

I asked my mother if she would write a memoir of sorts that I could save for my daughter so that she would know more about my mother's life. My mother started laughing hysterically as she said NO. I asked her why she wouldn't do it and why she was laughing. She told me that her life had been full of too many painful experiences that she had no desire to write about and that she was laughing because if she didn't she'd start crying. I started laughing with her.

I am giving away a Tungsten ring with up to $120 value to one lucky reader. If you are interested click HERE for details.

Pictured are a few of your options

CHEESE ALERT! CHEESE ALERT!

I'm sitting here writing this post and I get a a text from my husband that reads: I love u and Pootie* so much! and all of a sudden the world feels better.

*Pootie is another nickname for ny daughter, Put Pie.

And that's all she wrote, folks!

Have a great weekend!