You know how they say that if you die in your dreams, you will die in real life? Well, it’s not true. I know because I died in my dream once and I’m here to tell the story.
I had this dream years ago. I was at a table in a restaurant with my mother, grandmother, and aunt. A man walked in and held up a gun to us, then he turned and pointed it right at my head. I could feel my heart pounding. Then I realized that I had to be dreaming because my grandmother had been dead for quite some time, so there was no way I could actually be at a restaurant with her. I told myself everything would be okay and I willed myself to wake up, but I didn’t. Instead the man shot me in the head. It was happening in slow motion and I had thoughts running through my head like, “but you can’t die in your dream or you will really die” and “you’ll wake up any second”.
I didn’t wake up. The bullet went in my head and I felt nothing. Everything went black. I could not feel my heartbeat, I could not feel my breath, I could not hear or see or feel. I felt disembodied in darkness and thoughts weren’t even thoughts. It was all just darkness and I knew I was dead. Then I woke up. It was the strangest dream I’ve ever had.
My dream life has always been very active. Even as a child, I owned a diccionario de los sueños (dream dictionary). I no longer consult dream dictionaries, but my dream life continues to be very active. Sometimes the only way I know I’ve actually been sleeping is because of my dreams.
I’m pregnant and that means that as soon as I fall asleep I can count on having a dream. So far they haven’t been too exciting.
Celebrity sitings I’ve had in my dreams:
I dated Sean “Puffy” Combs aka P.Diddy and his mother kept trying to kill him. Sean complained that I never dressed up to go out with him and I answered, “Yeah, like I’m gonna wear my nice clothes so that your mom can shoot us!”
Richard Gere needed a place to stay and a former boyfriend and I offered him a room. He thanked me by giving me a joint that was as big as a cigar. I kept thinking, “I didn’t know Richard Gere was a stoner.”
Celebrity dream siting I wouldn’t mind having:
Simon Baker from The Mentalist.
When reality and dreams collide:
Sometimes my dreams are so realistic and they bring me so much joy. In one, I ran into a friend whom I LOVE and have not seen in decades. I was so happy to see him. We embraced and started talking, then I smelled something rancid and said, “It smells like SHIT in here.”
We turned and saw that Unknown Papi was sleeping on a couch and farting. It smelled awful. I woke up and my bedroom smelled as bad as my dream because Unknown Papi was sleeping next to me and farting. I was so mad, I woke him up and thanked him for ruining my dream with his stinky farts.
Do you have an active dream life?
