I Comment Therefore I Am

by Claudya Martinez on October 18, 2010

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Warning:

This post is rated “CC” and that does not stand for Coco Chanel. The following post contains curse words and talk of condoms. You have been warned.

Welcome to another edition of I Comment Therefore I Am, where I put together a post from comments I’ve left on other blogs or that have been left on mine. Let’s get started, shall we?

I read a piece at Monkey Man that really touched me because it deals with a part of American history that I think doesn’t get enough attention. This is what I had to contribute…

I was in a play that dealt with the subject of [Japanese] internment camps and many people of Japanese decent losing their farmlands when they were taken to the camps. I had the pleasure of meeting people that had been in the camps and I was overwhelmed by their generosity, kindness, strength, and lack of bitterness. I felt truly honored to be able to hear their stories. Having them in the audience was an unbelievable experience. It remains to this day one of the best theater experiences that I have ever had. I learned so much. I find it appalling that I made it through high school and never learned about the internment camps. There are some things that we as a nation should never forget and this is one of them.

While visiting The Absence of Alternatives, I read a post called I will stab anyone who says, “Boys will be boys”, well I might not go as far as stabbing them, but I do have a few choice words for them when they invoke this ridiculous logic to excuse bullying…

Boys will be boys.

Girls will be girls.

Kids will be kids.

Well in that line of logic…
Rapists will be rapists.
Child molesters will be child molesters.
Victims will be victims.

Let’s not do a damn thing to make ourselves and this world better because things are the way that they are and it’s not my fault because I’m not doing the bad things.

Fuck that convoluted logic. We need to pull our collective head out of our collective ass and realize that this affects all of us.

One love: universal love, respect, and compassion by all people for all people, regardless of race, creed, color, sexual orientation, or you name it . One love, that’s it! Enough is enough people.

I read a post by Robyn titled,  Top 7 Excuses Men Have For Not Wearing A Condom. She listed 6 and left #7 blank to be filled in by her readers. I came up with a few options (not that any of these have ever been used on me)…

They don’t fit.
or
You’re on the pill, so you won’t get pregnant and I know I’m clean.
or
I won’t come inside. I promise.

The point is: there is no excuse that is good enough.

The following is not a comment that I left, but a response to a comment that I left on post at Sometimes it’s not Easy Being Peachy. I commended the author for taking a stand against cyber-bullying amongst adults, amongst bloggers. Her response…

I just want people to honestly go back to the ” treat others as you want to be treated”
that would end the poor customer service, the gay bashing, the racism, the protests and all of it, no matter where you stand in your beliefs, religious, political, racial, or sexual,  just kindly treat others as you would like to be treated, it’s not a bad thing to agree to disagree.

That’s it for this edition of I Comment Therefore I Am.

Do you give good comment? Wanna play along? Go forth, spread the comment love, and turn it into a post (I keep a draft post open while I read blogs throughout the week). Recycle, reuse, and reduce my friends; it’s the wave of the future.

Oh and feel free to comment on my comments otherwise how will I know that you exist.

If you play along please link back and/or post the button below. Spread the love, spread the love! You can grab the button code from my sidebar.

Unknown Mami

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  • macey

    As a mom of two boys…the “Boys will be boys” argument PISSES ME OFF MORE THAN ANYONE WILL EVER KNOW!

  • Auntnikki12

    I firmly believed in “Treat others as you would want them to treat you” until a manager at my old job shot me down and made me cry. I brought that phrase up and she totally destroyed it. Now I am confused about what it really means.

  • http://twitter.com/BarelyDomestic BarelyDomestic

    The comments you left as always are so great. I, too, hate that boys will be boys saying. It just takes away any accountability for parents and for the child.

    The response you got back from Sometimes it’s Not Easy Being Peachy is a good one. It seems lately to me that it is harder and harder to find people that treat others like they would want to be treated.

  • Anonymous

    I like the last one.

  • Monkey Man

    First, thanks for the link. It is an honor to be included in your I comment therefore I am blog. My mother told me that story on her deathbed. She must have felt tremendous guilt to hold it so long. Second, bullying in person or anywhere is just plain wrong. So is excusing “boys will be boys” or any other kind of hurtful behavior.

  • Betty Manousos

    I disagree with that “boys will be boys…” saying. Loved your comments. Very well said, Mami.

    B xx

  • Oscar

    I love those who shoot straight from the hip! Good for you!

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/WJTZ25FW6YB4NFF7G72FQGMWPU Lori

    First of all thank you for sharing these great blog posts with us. I went and visited them and they were great posts! These boys will be boys or girls will be girls statements drives me fricken insane with anger. I cannot stand when anyone makes statements like that. I loved these posts and your comments…good job!

    Hope you got good news at the docs today. Still praying. XX

  • http://www.absenceofalternatives.com The Absence of Alternatives

    The Golden Rule. I sometimes wonder whether it would have served all of us better if we (also) recite The Gold Rule every morning.

    p.s. Thanks for the link. That was an awesome comment you left. AND I was so pleasantly surprised that you can curse with the best of them. LOL. ;-)

  • Anonymous

    One love, honest love, unconditional love. Just love. I like it.

  • http://www.fromtracie.com From Tracie

    The second comment. I love love love!

    That kind of excuse is ridiculous and I do not accept it. People must be held accountable for their actions. And parents should be held accountable to teach their children acceptable behavior.

  • http://forsakenforlent.blogspot.com deb@ talk at the table

    these are all brilliant.

  • Jeanie

    You left great comments, all of them full of wisdom and maturity. Good job, Mami.

  • Anonymous

    well done you! i have to put you on my blogroll because i just saw this on twitter and had to come rightthefuckover! xoxoxo

    • http://www.unknownmami.com/ unknownmami

      Well, thank you!

  • http://www.beingpeachy.com ThePeachy1

    Thanks so much for the link and including me today. I have watched social media, blogs, twitter, and facebook do amazing great works, bring light to areas that needed and unconditional out pouring of support for real situations. Unfortunately last week brought me to a breaking point where it just seemed everyone was so proud to be the nastiest or meanest person out there. At what point was that the goal in life. I can sling an insult over my keyboard with the best of them, to really stick my point. Not worth it, not worth it at all. I would rather try to be a decent human and respect others views even when I don’t agree. Easier to sleep at night. One day my children might read what I have said and done, I don’t want to leave a legacy of hate for them.
    xo PEACH OUT

  • Snugglewasteland

    “Treat others as you want to be treated.” – If only the whole world would do this! I try to instill this in my kids every day. One of these days I hope they will.

  • http://cowpattysurprise.blogspot.com Nezzy

    Wow, I’ve been away for awhile, this is pretty heavy stuff. Yes, we should all be of one race…human. Brothers and sisters in Christ. We should be blind to skin color or any other racial discrimination. If we would keep that in mind we would treat others kind at all times.

    You go girl and tell it like it is!!! :o)

    Ya’ll have a most wonderfully blessed ‘fall’ day!!!

  • steven anthony

    cuss words and condoms…I knew you were my kinda gal ;)

    another great post friend

  • Anonymous

    I really try to treat others how I want to be treated.

  • VM Sehy Photography

    You are correct about the Japanese internment camps. Not a whole lot is said. You’re lucky if it’s a sentence in your history book. What surprised me growing up is that there was one located on the grounds of Sherman’s Nursery where I used to run and around and play all the time. Kind of freaks me out when I think about it.

  • Anonymous

    I’ve been to one of those Japanese internment camps in Utah and it is truly shameful what happened at that time.

  • Rocio

    ay Mami jejeje these are good comments! jejejeje and “Mamis will be Mamis” Huh
    Have a fabulous Tuesday!

  • http://lettrefamily.blogspot.com/ dina@4lettrewords

    SOOO in agreement with the ridiculous “boys will be boys” statement. Makes me crazy how many times I hear that from parents these days! I wanna say in return, “No. Your boy’s just being an ass!”

    • http://afcsoac.blogspot.com/ lisleman

      maybe it should be “asses will be asses” – “and oh by the way may I kick yours?”
      Unknown Mami said it well.

  • http://bullinachinashopmama.blogspot.com/ Tina

    I love that you introduce me to so many amazing bloggers! You da best!
    I watched a documentary with folks who had lived in Japanese internment camps. It was mind boggling. It’s like this dirty little secret we don’t acknowledge in this country. Also? Our treatment of Native Americans and stealing their children away to force them into school to “tame” them. There is a Native American College close to where I went to undergrad and I learned so much about our history from them. How families and children were tortured and separated. Awful.

    And the boys will be boys thing gets me every time. For that matter, I really don’t understand the toelrance of any kind of unkind behavior at all. I was going to post about this later this week as a response a teacher at my son’s daycare/pre-K said yesterday. I may not be a perfect parent, but I teach my kid to be kind. to be helpful and respectful. anything else is an opportunity to teach him empathy and how hurtful choices affect others. Allowing children to hurt others robs them of the chance to grow into empathetic, helping, responsible citizens. (stepping off my soapbox now….)
    Best,
    Tina

  • http://afcsoac.blogspot.com/ lisleman

    bloggers will be bloggers – ? – some of these sayings are really dumb. Teaching history in a selective way starts to become propaganda and indoctrination. It’s true though that the winners/conquerors typically get to write the history.

  • http://www.waystationone.com brian

    nice. i lik ethe coment back to you…rather fond of that golden rule…or platinum rule…i like your boys will be boys comment…way to tell it how it is…

  • Robyn

    Ah, I’m honored that you linked to my silly post. This is a great post too. I do give good comments, I believe, though not always immediately. That’s to say, I’m sorry for my delayed visit. You are a compassionate and wise woman. I loved your additions to the list on my blog, too.
    xoRobyn

  • Lifeisaphoenix

    If only everyone were as tolerant. I find all people fascinating and we can learn from each other. Why are people so freakin’ mean?? Geez.

    Love your honesty.

  • Anonymous

    Amen, sister. I have a boy and I consciously work to raise him as respectful and kind. I expect the best from him as much as I expect the best for him. His school recently participated in an Anti-Bullying commitment and I was so proud that they did. Bullying — cyber or IRL — hurts everyone. This includes the bully. I think sometimes parents are so relieved that their child is not the bully that they don’t realize the damage left in the wake of their child BEING the bully. I think the last comment got it right — follow the Golden Rule!
    :-)
    Traci

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  • Marlaahansen

    Thought provoking. I like it.

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