Let’s start off with some good news shall we? I went to the eye doctor yesterday to see how my BIG BEAUTIFUL BROWN EYES are doing and the news was all good. All quiet on the western front! For those of you that are new, I have been going through months of difficulties with my left eye in particular (iritis, corneal ulcers, dangerously high pressure), but now my eyes are doing well and I have not sustained any permanent nerve damage.
I thought I’d celebrate by showing you a picture of my eyes.
I didn’t realize how creepy it would look to just show you my eyes, especially with no make up. Oh well.
My mother has expressed some disappointment because I have not been treating her convalescence from elective surgery face lift seriously. Huh? I told her that of course I want her to heal, but that I am not going to treat it like she had her gall bladder removed or something medically necessary. She chose to do this. I’m sure that if I were to get a tattoo, she would not be calling me to check that it was healing nicely; she’d be telling me where to go to get it removed.
It was a very difficult conversation to have and I knew it was coming because she sent me a picture of herself in profile so that I could see the results. I have expressed before how I feel about my mother getting this procedure and seeing the picture just made my stomach hurt. She wants me to tell her that she looks good and truth be told she looks fine, but I refuse to feed into her obsession with her appearance. Perhaps, I sound harsh, but I am so tired of a lifetime of focusing on my mother’s appearance.
Argh! This brings up so many complicated feelings. The last few nights I’ve been having nightmares where she gets on my case for being fat and I’m so upset with her when I wake up. See that’s it right there in a nutshell! Her obsession with her appearance, her constant criticism does not end with her, it is also the way she looks at others, the way she looks at me. I don’t want to face that type of scrutiny.
My mother is a wonderful, caring, extremely generous, hilarious woman. I am not trying to take any of that away from her by expressing these feelings. If you met her, you would most definitely like her. Everyone always does. Anyway, these feelings have been troubling me all week. I spoke to her as honestly and respectfully as I could, but somehow we both end up feeling hurt.
Today, I have a lunch date with some wonderful women. I met them all at a former job. I will be taking Put Pie with me and our ages will range from 21 months to well into the 70′s (years, not months). I love diversity. I love knowing people that I am not related to that span all ages.
I’m a winner! I’m not bragging, I’m just stating the truth.
I got all these goodies from a giveaway hosted by Facts from a Fact Woman! The fact is, I couldn’t be happier. Thank you, thank you!And that’s all she wrote!
Have a great weekend!
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