eggs

One night, not so long ago, Unknown Papi and Unknown Mami lay in bed together. Unknown Papi brought up eggs. Unknown Mami doesn’t know much about eggs except that she eats them regularly.

Unknown Papi wanted to know if the eggs that they eat would turn into chickens if they were left to their own devices. Unknown Mami was convinced that they would, but the more Papi thought about it, the more convinced he was that they would have to be fertilized in order to have a chance at becoming a chick.

Unknown Mami reached over to her nightstand and grabbed her iPhone for answers. Papi was right, the eggs from the supermarket were not fertilized and therefore destined to grow up to be omlettes. This led to the following exchange:

Unknown Mami: Well thank gawd the eggs aren’t fertilized! I don’t want any rooster sperm on my eggs.

Unknown Papi: What are you talking about?

UM: Well, it would creep me out to think of the rooster rubbing itself up against the egg.

UP: I don’t understand what you are talking about.

UM: I mean don’t you think it’s weird that a rooster gets off by rubbing itself on an egg?

UP:…stunned silence…

UM: What? How else would it fertilize the egg? …Wait, never mind… I think I understand now. I guess the egg still gets fertilized inside the chicken.

UP: I would think so.
UM: I think I’m going to have to blog this. I’ll call it, “Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the ignorant city girl that thinks roosters hump eggs.”