Humor

The Oscars: Top 10 Things Not to Say to Your Daughters While Watching the #Oscars

by Claudya Martinez February 24, 2013
Top 10 Things You Shouldn

Do you watch the Oscars? I’m not gonna lie, I like watching more for the pageantry than anything else. There have also been times when I’ve enjoyed a good teardown of someone’s outfit. Know that I love beauty in all its forms. For example, Bjork in her swan dress was awesome in my opinion because she is a [...]

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Bad Neighbor (Open Letter)

by Claudya Martinez January 24, 2013
Bad-neighbor-quote

Dear Neighbors, Let me begin by saying that I do not envy you. If I lived above us, I would curse us often (not that you do or thankfully we don’t hear you do it because I totally understand if you need to). I really am sorry. As you are well aware, I have two [...]

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5 Ways to Avoid Drinking and Driving On New Year’s Eve

by Claudya Martinez December 31, 2012
Don

I don’t recommend you start the new year with a hangover, but if you must…pretty please remember not to drive when you have been drinking. Yup, you’re going to hear it again: DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE! Don’t do it. I promise you that regardless of what you think after a few drinks, you are not [...]

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Sick on Christmas or I Feel Like Cheese

by Claudya Martinez December 26, 2012
Sick on Christmas.

A few days ago… Put Pie (she’s 4): Mama, I feel like cheese. Me: You want some cheese, mi’ja? Put Pie: NO! I DON’T LIKE CHEESE! Me: I know you don’t like cheese, but you just said you feel like cheese. Put Pie: My throat feels like cheese and I don’t like it! Me: Oh, [...]

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Hand Turkey

by Claudya Martinez November 22, 2012
Hand-Turkey-Drawing

Which do you like better? Give me a hand, Turkey! or Give me a hand-turkey!   Here’s my hand, Turkey! or Here’s my hand-turkey! Either way, may you have many things to be grateful for now and always. Are you wondering if I just called you a Turkey?

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Living with Others (Fragmented Fridays)

by Claudya Martinez November 1, 2012
towel

My brother is living with my mother again and my mother tells me that he’s not easy to live with…HA!…Tell me something I don’t know. I’m not saying that my brother is hard to live with, I’m saying…Who isn’t hard to live with? Living with others is hard. Seriously, if I weren’t me, I wouldn’t [...]

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The Movie of My Life

by Claudya Martinez October 25, 2012
Picture of movie film

It’s only a matter of time before I’m approached by Hollywood for the rights to develop a movie based on the story of my life. What?! You don’t think Hollywood is aching to make the movie of my life? Whatever, I believe in being prepared, so I’ve come up with some possible titles for my [...]

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Dear Facebook (Fragmented Fridays)

by Claudya Martinez October 12, 2012
Funny Facebook Update

Dear Facebook, You are irritating just about everyone on Facebook. What the heck?! You used to be fun, a great place to interact with friends and colleagues. Now you’re all business. I get that you have to make money, but son of a gun didn’t you ever hear that no one likes to pay for [...]

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How to Piss Off Your Significant Other in 2 Easy Steps

by Claudya Martinez October 11, 2012
How-to-on-chalkboard-unknownmami

I don’t consider myself an expert in many things, but there are a few areas in which I excel. One of those happens to be the alacrity with which I can piss off my husband. I’ve seen this particular method work time and time again, so if you would like to piss off your significant [...]

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Unknown Mami Invents Blog Sleep Training Method (Fragmented Fridays)

by Claudya Martinez September 21, 2012
Sleep-Training

My husband is able to explain to Luna Pie (19 months old) that it is bed time and put her in her crib and walk out of the room, she then somehow miraculously falls asleep. Me, not so much. The last couple of nights I’ve been trying something different. Luna Pie shares a room with [...]

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