playdates

When I was “single”, I didn’t really date around much. I was more of a serial monogamist with some occasional overlap. I never really felt comfortable dating around because I always knew if I really liked someone or not and if I really liked someone then there didn’t seem to be much point in seeing someone else.

There was a very brief period where I was between relationships and “saw” a few people at the same time. And you know what? It was kind of fun. It was light and commitment-free and no one was upset by the arrangement.

Lately, I’ve been dating around again and it is delightful. Don’t worry Unknown Papi knows all about it and he’s totally into it too, only because it is “play-dating” around.

We’ve been scheduling semi-regular playdates with different parents and kids and it has been so much fun. Let’s face it, kids should playdate around; it’s good for them and it’s good for the parents.

Here are a few of the benefits of playdating around:

You can wear the same outfit to different dates and no one will know.
It keeps things fresh.
You are allowed to talk about the other parents and kids you are “dating” without anyone’s feelings getting hurt.
No one minds if you “date” both girls and boys.
There are no strings attached.
You don’t depend on any one date too much.
If the parents get along, but the kids not so much…it’s okay because the opposite might be true on your next date. Swapping works well in this case.

And here I thought my dating days were through.

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I’ve never been one to make friends quickly. I’m not one of those people who strikes up conversations with strangers. If anything, I avoid any such contact. I’ve always been fine spending time alone and I don’t mind being social, but I prefer to be a bit of a hermit.

Until…Mamihood.

Being a mom can be quite isolating. Yeah, sure it’s rewarding and I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but it’s exhausting and you don’t get much feedback on what a good job you’re doing. Friends and family members without kids don’t really get it and friends and family with grown kids don’t quite remember. ( I think as with all trying situations you block out the difficult moments and idealize the good.)

So, what’s a Mami to do? You go cruisin’ for Mamis/Mommies.. Just about any Mami with a child around the same age as yours will do. People you never would have imagined being friends with before being a parent all of a sudden seem quite desirable because you know you won’t have to explain yourself to them. You’ll make a baby related joke and they’ll get it. If you run out of wipes or diapers they’ve got your back. If you need advice, they’ll give it to you. Best of all they’ll let you just vent.

Actually, it’s pretty awesome. If I’m feeling starved for adult company all I have to do is get Put Pie all dolled up and take her for a walk to a nearby park or playground. Inevitably, you will pass another parent with a stroller and you’ll smile. If you are both into it, you start talking by focusing on the kids.

I think someone should come up with a list of pick up lines for Mommies or Daddies.

Here are a few basic ones:

How old is the little one? (If you are not sure of gender, always err on the side of caution.)

What’s the baby’s name? (Again, with this one remember that many children have gender non-specific names so don’t assume Dylan is a boy or Kimberly is a girl.)

How do you like your (insert name of baby carrier here-i.e. BabyBjorn, Ergo, Moby)?
Follow ups to this include asking about inserts, weight limits, back pain.

I’m trying to come up with some more original ones. I welcome any input.

A word of caution to those of you who may find yourself cruisin’ for Mommies: don’t settle for just any old Mommy. Remember that if you set up play dates, the dates are just as much for you as they are for the kids. You don’t want to get stuck with a Mommy that drains you. Your time is limited. So if you find you are not compatible, just keep on cruisin’.

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