Yesterday we went to breakfast with my mother-in-law and brother-in-law. We sat at a booth that happened to be next to a poster of the Chinese zodiac. To pass the time we looked up everyone’s signs and were amazed at their accuracy. My MIL was described as a chatterbox (true) who can be a loner, my BIL as pessimistic (true), my husband as romantic (true) with a mean streak when angered (so true), and I was labeled generous (I’ll leave that to others to decide) and gullible (hmmm).
It was all fun and games until we got to the compatibility part. I’m a pig or a boar (depends on your perspective I guess) and my husband is a serpent. Apparently, we are very ill-suited for each other. Under my description it said a union with a serpent would be disastrous and under his description it said a union with a pig would be earth shattering (not in a good way). Except for a chuckle or two no one at the table reacted to this devastating news. I wanted someone to say, “Oh, that’s ridiculous”, but I got nothing.
Now, I like to pretend that I’m civilized, but in reality I’m very superstitious. I won’t give knives, scissors, or any cutting implements as gifts because I believe ties will be severed. Moths are portentous of death. If I look at a clock and it reads 11:11, I make a wish because surely it will come true. You get the picture.
Another thing I’m guilty of is what my friend Momo refers to as “catastrophizing”. I kid you not that in the span of 30 seconds I had already imagined myself getting a divorce, raising my daughter alone, having to meet my husband’s new wife. All this and we hadn’t even ordered breakfast yet.
Why do I do this to myself?
Everyone else had moved on without giving it a second thought and my whole world was falling apart. Finally, I came to my senses and said, “Well, I guess it doesn’t apply to me because I’m not Chinese.”
Ugh, remind me never to read my Chinese horoscope again.
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