Useless Psychic

The Useless Psychic is in!

by UnknownMami on January 12, 2010

Step right up, step right up and be prepared to be amazed by The Useless Psychic’s inability to provide you with any useful information regarding your future! This week The Useless Psychic looked into her crystal ball and when the reflection of her cleavage subsided many answers were revealed.

Currently on Tour asked, “My mom could may have been physically beautiful but she has hated me for most of my life. I don’t know why and I don’t care to know why? Is there hope she will stop being mean and just accept me? If not, I have been ok with it all my life.”

As long as you are both alive there is always hope. Unfortunately, humans are creatures of habit and we fear change, especially change that would require painful self-examination. Continue to be open to the possibility of a healthy loving relationship with your mother. Stranger things have happened.

Also from Currently on Tour, “Will my sister ever be civil with me? She has started yet another campaign of hate against me and I have not spoken to her in 3 years because she is truly her mother’s daughter. This time she threw my kids in it and I am not bragging, but I really do have good kids.”

Your sister will have moments of civility with you, but habits are hard to break. Keep in mind that your sister’s “campaign of hate” says more about her than it does about you. You know the truth about yourself and your children and that is all that truly matters. Oh, and feel free to brag about your kids; they deserve it!

Camp 1974 asked, “…please let me know what I should be when I grow up.”

What you have always been: an artist and a creator.

Dina@4lettrewords asked, “Where do you see my boys, Sam (5) & Luke (1), in 20 years, tho??? )”

I see them as gorgeous, kindhearted, young men with many wonderful options at their disposal.

Green-eyed Momster asked, “You mentioned a while back in a comment to me that May of 2010 was going to be filled with lots of love and joy. I can’t rememeber your exact words but I was wondering if you just said that to cheer me up or you really see something in my future. Just curious!”

Unfortunately, that was a typo on my part. I meant to write, “May 2010 be filled with lots of love and joy!” A wish, not a prediction. However, I am certain that 2010 will be far better for you and your family than 2009 and that is not a typo.

MarlaA asked, “Oh great and powerful Useless Psychic ~ Tell me what I’m thinking. ”

Your mind is filled with so many questions that it is hard to choose just one thing. Shall we just say that it is a little noisy in there! Try to give it a few moments of quiet every day.

That’s all for now! Don’t worry if your question was not answered this time around, The Useless Psychic will be back to answer more questions soon. If you didn’t get a chance to ask a question or would like to ask another do so now in the comments section. Come on! You know you have a question for The Useless Psychic. Ask now before she starts charging for her useless service.

And remember, this is intended to be an interactive game and I am not actually claiming that I will provide you with any useful information.

{ 0 comments }

The Useless Psychic is in!

by UnknownMami on January 5, 2010

The secret is out, my useless psychic abilities have been revealed and I’ve been overwhelmed by questions about the future from readers. I looked into my crystal ball and when the reflection of my cleavage subsided some answers were revealed.

Jenny Mac asked, “Useless Psychic…who will win the Superbowl?”

Jenny, I do not need to use my psychic powers to know that the winner of the Superbowl will be the team that plays the best and scores the highest. Really Jenny?!

Rebecca asked, “Will there ever be a useful treatment, or dare I say cure, for psuedoarthrosis? What about neurofibromatosis? How about plexiforms? Or what about optic gliomas?”

Rebecca I’m sorry to say, only time will tell.

Rebecca also asked, “Should I start an in-home day care? A part time thing? Say three days a week drop off somewhere in the neighborhood of 7am or after and pick up somewhere in the neighborhood of 6 or before? I feel like I’m already being to restrictive with what I’d be willing to accept, but would like the extra cash.”

Sit down and create a plan for an in-home day care that would work so well for you that you can not help but be excited about it. Don’t worry about being too restrictive because you are creating it based on what you want, not what you think others want. When you feel great about what you’ve come up with and feel sure that you would be happy then offer it as a service. People will come.

littlemsblogger, Joanna, mswanda, and Currently on Tour all wanted to know if they would win the lottery.

Again ladies, this has nothing to do with psychic abilities, odds are odds and you can’t win unless you play. If you want to win the lottery, then buy a ticket!

Mama Zen asks, “Tell me, oh Useless Psychic! What does my future hold?”

The wonderful thing about the future is that it is not set in stone, you have the ability to mold it and affect its shape. I can tell you that you will laugh and cry and laugh some more. The only thing that is certain is death. In the meantime, the future is waiting to make you happy.

And remember, this is intended to be an interactive game and I am not actually claiming that I will provide you with any useful information.

{ 0 comments }

Let’s Interact!

by UnknownMami on December 29, 2009

Recently, I wrote a post called The Gaze which prompted Nancy to ask, “What did you learn from having a beautiful mother? Do you think it made a difference in how you viewed the world? Just curious…”

Oh boy! I could write volumes on how I was affected by my mother’s beauty. I have to say even the question makes me uncomfortable. My mother’s beauty has always defined her; it is front and center and inescapable. I’ve always appreciated her beauty and at times been very proud of it, but I’ve hated feeling that I was somehow supposed to measure up to her beauty. I am not ugly, but my beauty is not front and center. I’ve spent my whole life wanting to be appreciated for my intellect and humor, things that I could take credit for developing, but I would be a huge liar if I didn’t admit to wanting to appreciated for my physical beauty every once in awhile. Physical beauty is a powerful thing, but it can also be a burden.

That’s the short answer to Nancy’s question. I appreciate that she made me think about something that I tend to ignore.

Do you have anything you’d like to ask me? Let me know in the comments section and I’ll answer in an upcoming post.

Perhaps, you don’t give a rat’s a$$ about me and you’d rather ask a question about yourself. Well, you’re in luck! I am what could be referred to as a Useless Psychic. Yes it’s true, I have psychic abilities, but they are useless. For example, I dreamt that our car was broken into and the next morning when I went to the car it had indeed been broken into. Not really broken into as my husband had forgotten to lock it. Why couldn’t I have had a dream the night before about him forgetting to lock it?

So maybe you would like to ask me something about your future like should you get a nose job in 2010. My answer would be along the lines of, “No your nose is already very busy poking itself where it does not belong, it can not possibly take on another job.”

So step right up and ask The Useless Psychic a question! I will look into my crystal ball and if I am not blinded by the reflection of my own cleavage, I may be able to offer some insight.